Requirements to be a slave to two slaves (guess who!):
1. Must be able to commute between two different cities.
2. The ability to make first class tea and the best ham and cheese toasties in the world is essential.
3. Must be capable of forming comedy shapes on demand.
4. Must enjoy heavy caning and tawsing and experimentation.
5. Gardening skills not essential but a distinct advantage. Pruners welcome.
6. Must be able to drive because one of us can't and the other can't be arsed.
7. Must accompany Mistress's to all engagements, carry all luggage and also carry one or both mistresses when they break.
8. Must be prepared for every eventuality of smoothness and carry a wide selection of plasters, painkillers, bandages, etc at all times.
9. Must be able to paint finger and toenails immaculately.
10. Must be able to look after both Mistress's extensive shoe collections.
11. Must be an expert in sports massage.
12. Must defend both Mistress's to the death in front of their owners.
13. Must have the skill to remove pain from either or both Mistress's when required by osmosis. (after all we have to do it, therefore so do you)
14. Must able to roll cigarettes for the Mistress who smokes because she can't be arsed doing it herself.
15. Must act as gofor on all film shoots to both Mistresses.
16. Must go shoppping for both Mistresses - they hate it.
17. Must be available for turning lights on and off whenever either Mistress is too knacked from their own duties to get up.
18. Must be able to suitably protect and prepare the blonde Mistress for when the brunette Mistress cracks her joints. (Gross)
19. Must supply us with a constant stream of pretty young girls to play with.
20. If an occasion arises where either Mistress is punished by their owners, you will be punished double. If we got punished in the first place, it must have been YOUR fault.
21. Failure to comply with any rules or instructions with result in slave being chased down the road with paintball guns and stinging nettles tied to your bollocks.
22. No gollums or mongwhales need apply.