Thursday, 18 February 2010

So much pleasure, where is the pain...

Hello folks, today I want to talk about ballet.  Why?  because it came up today during a very enjoyable session.  He was asking me about how I realized I was into this sort of this, so of course I talked first of my early life where I read (and secretly enjoyed with much guilt) Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl.  He, however, also knew that I had previously been to Ballet School and had a short Ballet career.  He gave me something to think on, that I have thought about before but maybe not enough.  Ballet.  So much pleasure where is the pain?

There is no career or job that can exceed dance.  I loved it so much, had so much passion for it.  Nothing can better it, so I do not attempt to try.  That would cause far too much heart-ache.  BUT, ballet has clearly changed me, and moulded me into what I am now.  Actually I think Ballet did much more than simply give me discipline in life.  As I have already said.  So much pleasure where is the pain?  Training for ballet is very painful, extremely painful.  And when you train, you go through puberty, if you start Ballet school as most girls do at 11.  I personally wonder if going through all that pain at a time when I was changing from a girl to a young woman has altered my sexual interests, even though I was hard wired that way.  what I mean is, and what I ask myself is, would I have discovered myself and my sexuality so young if the catalyst of Ballet training had not happened?  I guess I will never know....but it still fun to ask... Thoughts anyone?  Anyone got any similar experiences?

4 comments:

Paul said...

It's a very interesting premise. As I'm sure you're aware you are certainly not the only ex-ballet dancer to share a love of the scene. The very lovely Miss Rutherford of this parish, is a trained ballet dancer too. Coincidence? Maybe.

For my part, from the age of seven I have recollections of wanting to be punished by some of my female teachers at school, so clearly my inclination (shall we call it that) was there whether by nurture or nature from a very early age.

tim said...

Most ballet dancers do not seem to want to be spanked. I think you are hard-wired like most of us and, of course, some dancers.

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Paul - interesting post, thank you. Your adult fantasies could no doubt be governed by that!

Tim - I had already said that I was hard wired the way towards spanking ;-) what I mean is did dance catalyse my finding of the scene at a young age. I have no doubt I would have found it sooner or later based on my early fantasies!! But you share my opinion on hard wiring...

dublin.paolo said...

Hi Leia,
I once upon a time was a ballroom dancer, I can identify with some of the emotions you speak of, those dance classes were even stricter than some of my school classes I can remember.
The focus for my dance teacher was on, teaching and reinforcing self-discipline among us dance students. This formidable woman was revered by us all, and occasionally she would embarrass a weak performing student by banishing them from the floor to think about what they were in the hall for in the first place.
I’ve always been impressed by the levels of self-discipline among ballet students I’ve observed, certainly compared with the average school going student. This seems to be more than just individual behaviour, there’s a culture of self-discipline which, ironically, makes people more able to work in groups, to co-operate, and to see their place in a larger pattern than just their own lives. It’s part of what makes it such a joy to observe well-conducted ballet classes and performances.
Finally, I don’t believe it possible to have a successful and long-lasting ballet career relying on talent primarily, without a firm, consistent self-discipline underlying it…..now I can see the similarities between ballet dancers and spanking models…don’t you?
Paolo

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