Hello folks. First of all I apologize for not posting in a while, I have been recovering from a nasty dose of flu, which seemed more than stubborn (even more stubborn than me!). OK, this is my post and it has been inspired by a conversation I had this evening and a brief browsing of various forums. Now, I was not offended by this conversation, in fact the person I was having it with I like (and I hope he likes me, even if it is in moderation!). What I was amazed by was what he thought of me, given my active participation in the 'commercial' scene. It got me thinking; Who else thinks of ladies like me in this fashion? I was not offended, just sad that he may have been under the impression I did nothing unless I was paid. Here is me trying to dispel that view. I hope I succeed.
In the first instance he was surprised by the fact that I play in my private life. Yes, folks I do, and sometimes that includes a degree of BDSM. I love my private play and I have always had someone (or people) in my life with whom I play and have a personal relationship with. This does not mean what I do on the scene is lesser, it is just different and satisfies different passions and tastes of mine. When playing privately I can explore the darkest rooms of my mind and do that in a safe and caring environment with people I know well. This is something not advised with people unknown to you, trust me!
The 'commercial' scene fulfills me in other ways. I have met so many lovely people and made many friends through the commercial scene. I also get the lovely 'fear' when I play with someone new, where I wonder if I will be able to cope with the punishment I am due for my naughtiness. I also have the joy of becoming so many different characters, both in session and on film, some of which are the the people I would be if I had the courage, or would have to be in a certain situation (Mrs Woods is a fine example of this). Sometimes I have the joy of playing a really deep scenario in session that turns me on that has not been thought of by me, but the gentlemen. Those are my favourite moments.
So which do I prefer being? Leia? Or the private me? Truth is I like being both. I love my double (sorry triple!) life!