Hello folks. First of all I apologize for not posting in a while, I have been recovering from a nasty dose of flu, which seemed more than stubborn (even more stubborn than me!). OK, this is my post and it has been inspired by a conversation I had this evening and a brief browsing of various forums. Now, I was not offended by this conversation, in fact the person I was having it with I like (and I hope he likes me, even if it is in moderation!). What I was amazed by was what he thought of me, given my active participation in the 'commercial' scene. It got me thinking; Who else thinks of ladies like me in this fashion? I was not offended, just sad that he may have been under the impression I did nothing unless I was paid. Here is me trying to dispel that view. I hope I succeed.
In the first instance he was surprised by the fact that I play in my private life. Yes, folks I do, and sometimes that includes a degree of BDSM. I love my private play and I have always had someone (or people) in my life with whom I play and have a personal relationship with. This does not mean what I do on the scene is lesser, it is just different and satisfies different passions and tastes of mine. When playing privately I can explore the darkest rooms of my mind and do that in a safe and caring environment with people I know well. This is something not advised with people unknown to you, trust me!
The 'commercial' scene fulfills me in other ways. I have met so many lovely people and made many friends through the commercial scene. I also get the lovely 'fear' when I play with someone new, where I wonder if I will be able to cope with the punishment I am due for my naughtiness. I also have the joy of becoming so many different characters, both in session and on film, some of which are the the people I would be if I had the courage, or would have to be in a certain situation (Mrs Woods is a fine example of this). Sometimes I have the joy of playing a really deep scenario in session that turns me on that has not been thought of by me, but the gentlemen. Those are my favourite moments.
So which do I prefer being? Leia? Or the private me? Truth is I like being both. I love my double (sorry triple!) life!
5 comments:
It doesn't surprise me at all that you play in your private life, or that your commercial work is a distinct part of your life. I'm just glad you have both. It's great that you're a genuine kinky enthusiast, and that I get to see your public side.
To a certain extent any financial incentive Leia has must be irrelevant; for it must be incredibly difficult to accept the kind of punishment Leia does without some considerable level of actually wanting to be there. Fees may well be a welcome bonus, but it would be dreadful if a professional sub had no interest in it at all other than the money.
This raises another question; how easy is it for subs to show fear of the punishment to come and express reaction to the pain which is convincing? As someone who visits a professional lady a few times a year (not Leia: I haven't yet find a scenario which works in my mind well enough for me to be sure that a) Leia will accept it and b) I can carry it off) trying to set up an atmosphere in which the lady appears to be apprehensive about what she is to receive is for me the hardest part. Of course I want any sub I use to 'enjoy' the session, but unless you can invent a scenario where the girl wills you on to increase her discipline, part of my enjoyment is the feeling of getting the lady to submit to her just desserts against her will! And there does have to be a reason for punishing her in the first place (other than the paying client wants to)!
You're gorgeous either way, that's for sure Leia ! Happy Christmas xx
MarQe
I think you're wonderful - one of the really smart people in the scene who is helping others to really think through their kink and making all of us, hopefully, better and more satisfied and contented people by understanding ourselves better. Considering how long I've been on this journey I seem to have made a lot less progress than you but maybe 2011 will be the year I start to rectify that. if so, it will be down in large part to articulate people like you who have helped us all. The fact you have a great arse is a bonus!
Brett - Why thank you lovely!
Madmusician - Indeed that is true. One cannot really go into CP sessions to the sort of level I do without enjoying it on some level, be that physical or psychological. Is it easy to show the fear? well, for me that depends on what the scenario is.
MarQe - Thank you , and you.
James - I am so happy you find my activities and my musings on the same helpful and fun. Long may they continue!
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