Hello folks. I do apologise for the long delay in posting but I have been VERY busy, which is one of the reasons for this post.
I have had quite a schedule of late, balancing scene play with chemistry work with mixed success. I recently scheduled a deeply psychological play session (private) where I would be tested in physicality as well as in mind. I knew I had a busy schedule previous to this event, but I ignored this and went along to the event, despite by brain feeling like it had been run over by a truck several times. Physically I was not too bad, but mentally I was shattered. Given what I am (I will not go into the details), I really need to look after my mind more than I do. So why don't I? Well, logic gives in to the need to play. Sadly, this often means that the play session I have been so looking forward to is not so good for me or the person I am playing with. What is usually hot can become less so, and certain subjects that are sore (and can possibly be used in a session to 'break' me) become mountains rather than mole hills. The session was not all bad, please do not misunderstand me (in fact we traversed a major rubicon), but I could have been so much better and so given my play partner so much more.
After the session, I felt low, possibly because I was so emotionally tired, but also because I had not performed as well as I felt I should have. This is counter-productive for all involved I believe. This may be why I am no longer a slave! Has anyone else suffered from 'logic giving way to need' syndrome? I do hope I am not the only one but please leave comments if you have anything to say on this matter. Thank you folks!