Humiliation and conditioning

I know I am talking much about humiliation at the moment, but it is a big part of my kinky thoughts and fantasies at present.  We all know that humiliation and what people find humiliating is subjective and varies from person to person.  Also, what some people may find humiliating in a hot way others might find abhorrent, which could be a result of many things, such as an incident in the past.  It is by far the most complex issue of my (anyones?) kink as it is fundamentally psychological and as such brings cerebral complications with it.

But what makes something humiliating?  How much is this associated to social conditioning?  Because humiliation is such a broad topic and I cannot have possibly have experienced all that is possible I shall discuss a few points and see where we get.  

Exposure of flesh:  Being stripped naked in private or public can be thought of and many people find the act of doing so humiliating.  Why?  Nakedness is natural isn't it?  I often walk around my flat naked and have done so in the past without blinds!  Social conditioning has taught us not to expose ourselves in public, and so what is actually quite natural can become a psychological trigger of a humiliation act.  For example,  in front of another, to whom I have relinquished control I can feel quite exposed and humiliated?when naked, particularly if that person is clothed.  This feeling is exacerbated with an audience, particularly one of my peers.  However, exposure of particular areas, such as my breast, genitals and bottom with my clothing still on, just re-arranged is actually more humiliating.  I suppose this is because these areas are those we are taught we should not expose, particularly in public and the presence of clothing surrounding these exposed area only highlights that feeling.  If there were no thoughts on nakedness or beliefs on what is or is not correct with respect to exposing human flesh then maybe these feelings of humiliation would not be there.

Public humiliation:  I suppose this is any act that causes embarrassment to the victim with the presence of an audience.  Is this more humiliating than having no audience?  I think so.  We all care about what people think of us and so an audience can really heighten the effect of the act.  I also believe that if the audience is known to the victim then the feelings of humiliation are even more heightened.  Why is this?   I believe we like to think we have the respect of our peers and secretly worry that by performing certain acts in front of them then we may lose that respect?  Why do we think any respect may be lost at all and why do we worry?  I suppose because secretly we think we should be doing these sorts of thing, still less enjoying them and the opinions of others does matter whether we like it or not.  But has anyone thought that in our world you may GAIN the respect of your peers by doing such things in public?  I have done in the past and it has really helped me enjoy the scene, rather than worrying about what they may or may not think of me.

Sexual acts:  There are many of these that could fall under this banner but I guess anal sex is quite a common one and is one I have experienced (gasping with shock anyone?).  I have often heard anal sex described as degrading and humiliating.  I know I think of it in that way, in fact that is one of the many reasons I enjoy it; it is the psychology of the act that is a real trigger for me.  I think if it in such a manner because I have been brought up to think it is wrong and unnatural (and I am sure I am not alone in this).  I have been conditioned.

Positions for punishment:  There are so many positions we subs can be made to adopt to have punishment administered to us.  For me (again, I am sure I am not alone here) those positions that expose me, such as bent over with my legs apart I find humiliating.  I guess that harks back to the fact I have been told I should not expose certain parts of my body to people (other than when it is necessary or of course when with my partner).  I also find positions where my bottoms is raised with respect to my body (I recently did a scene with HH where I was laid flat with a cushion under my bottom that was large enough to really raise my bottom in the air.  Why was this humiliating to me after all these years of playing at CP scenes?  I believe it is because I have never had my bottom so highlighted before.  It made me feel that my bottom was being objectified, something I had not experienced in a CP scene before.  Why is objectification humiliating though?  This one I truly cannot work out!

Folks, if you have made it though this larger than usual post and have some thoughts on this then please do comment.  It is a broad subject and you will probably have very different views from me.  I just want to try and understand this subject a little.  It really does interest me. 

Bottoms Up December!

Hello folks,

Just a quickie to tell you about our Christmas party at Bottoms Up.  Our next party will be on the 9th December! We will be hosting it at a lovely venue in Central London, near Vauxhall railway/underground station. The party runs from 12.30-5.30pm. We do hope you will join us! Contact us at bottomsupspanking@hotmail.co.uk

It is that time of year again, yes you have guessed it the christmas panto. The trouble is all has not been going well in rehearsal with the girls all bickering over who gets the most lines and who gets to stand centre stage. If this continues the show cannot go on! Gentlemen we need you to put a stop to this by administering some good old fashioned discipline upon each of the girls bottoms! Miss Woods has caused the biggest problem by throwing regular strops and demanding her dressing room be decorated and fresh flowers delivered to it every day! This lady has become too big for her boots so all gentlemen are invited to give her 6 strokes of the cane from cold to teach her a lesson in humility!

Our ladies are:

Leia-Ann Woods

Sam Johnson:

Aleesha Fox:

Jadie Reece:

Katharina:

Nikita:

Chloe:

Now there are only 3 places left so if you would like to come do mail or call in.  To find out more about Bottoms up, visit www.bottomsupspanking.com  That's all folks!

Bottoms Up November

Hello again folks, I have been asked for a review by one of my readers and who am I to refuse?  I could do my own review again, but I think it is better if I provide you a link to spankee finder, who have written a review after attending our last event on Friday last week.  You may find this here:

http://www.spankeefinder.blogspot.com/

I hope you find this useful folks!  Our next event is on 9th December and is a Christmas panto event.  Our ladies are Jadie Reece, Aleesha Fox, Sam Johnson, Katharina, Nikita, Chloe and yours truly.  To find out more about Bottoms Up please go to:

www.bottomsupspanking.com

Enjoy folks!

Nettles!

Hello folks, it has been a while since my previous experience with nettles, which was with Northern Spanking a few years ago.  I recently spent a weekend with HH (which was fabulous by the way...I had too much fun, but still undecided as to whether I should share it), where we did a few scenes which were all exciting in their own way, but the scene with nettles excited me most.  Why?  I guess because there is still much novelty factor to it as it is not an 'implement' I have had used on me more than once before and because they are the ultimate stingy sensation that I love which lasts for hours afterwards.  I was squirming very uncomfortably in my seat on the train home afterwards, which I found truly hot!  So how can we use nettles and where?  I shall give you some ideas...

Nettles are lined on the stems and the underside of their leaves with thin, delicate hairs which break open when touched.  They do not sting you unless that touch has allowed the hairs to penetrate the skin, at which point they inject a tiny amount of poison under the skin.  Do note that sideways pressure breaks the hairs and can waste the sting (and we don't want that!).  Each sting may only sting you once, so the most efficient method is one that ensures the hairs go in to the skin with a straight alignment.

Nettles may be used to target small, delicate areas, such as genitalia, which I can attest firsthand is a glorious uncomfortable feeling.  They may also be used in the form of a birch, and this does do the job but wastes many of the stings...it depends on what you wish to achieve with your natural torture device!  Nettles can be used under other articles; they can be put into bras, knickers, underpants, tights, or other close-fitting gear. Nettles can also be used for control. This is a refinement of bondage, where the nettles are placed so that they are difficult, but not impossible to avoid.  Imagine a difficult position where your bottom is hovering precariously above a chair covered in nettles.  This technique could also be employed to encourage the sub to hold a position whilst being punished, too much squirming would result in being stung resulting in a further punishment!  

I am hoping that it needs no saying that you must check that your victim is not allergic to nettles.  This would not be good at all.  I love playing with new forms of torture, but what do you folks think about nettles and their use?  Personally I love the stingy sensation and the long lasting feeling that I get from them.  I hope to play with them again soon!

A party with one hell of a difference!

Hello folks!  I have some great news!  My (long suffering) fiance has set up his own version of my events, Bottoms up, though his have quite a different feel to them because the ladies are in charge!  The events are called Slayers Speakeasy, and more details can be found here:

BUT, I cannot resist telling you the dominant ladies who are currently listed (no doubt there will be more but it is early days and he is a man - they don't multi-task!).  Click on each name to find out more about the lady, if you dare!

The legend that is Lucy McLean:

The scariest lady I know, Miss Amy Hunter:

Not so sweetness and light, Miss Jadie Reece:

The evil Dr Leia-Ann Woods (yes it was going so well wasn't it?!):

We hope to see you naughty gentlemen there...we love to crack the whip!

The scene: passion or money?

Hello folks, sorry it is another rant, but this I cannot ignore.  I was reading a forum the other day and it was indicated that there should be a 'happy ending' to a session, and those ladies that did not provide that should not ask for a tribute that compares to those that do.  There are so many reasons why this is a terrible thing to be putting online (not least because those girls new to the scene might think this is the only way to 'get on'), largely because it is not what scene is about.  Funnily enough I see this logic to be flawed in so many ways, and here is why:

1.  In my real world I am a consultant on a specific subject, people pay me to give them expert advice based on that knowledge.  My rate as a consultant is no less because I can only give expert advice on chemical issues and if asked about issues I cannot answer I should not be asked to charge less because I cannot offer that advice, however I should be able to charge the correct fee on what my knowledge is.  And so I do.  No one questions that.

2.  I go to a local butcher in London and order my meat for the week.  He is considerably more than the local supermarket, but he is a specialist in butchery.  If I ask him for vegetables to match my meat, he won't be able to help me, so do I ask for him to give me my meat at a discount price because he cannot offer me veg to match my meat?  No of course not, because he specialises in what he does and the meat tastes sublime.  I could go to a supermarket and get all I need, but I prefer to get the best of everything!

To me a session is about a mutual agreement and is all about the play between top and bottom.  I play many enjoyable scenes in a session and hope to continue to do so, and the money is not everything, it never has been.  I do this because I have a passion for it, just like my PhD.  Nobody asked me about why I took my annual stipend for doing my research, I just did, but it did not diminish my passion for my research.  So why ask the girls about their fee?  It is no different in my opinion.   I had a passion for my research just as I do scene.  It is just as shame we have to defend that at times.

Sorry about the rant...I hope you readers understand...and what do you think about this?