I know I am talking much about humiliation at the moment, but it is a big part of my kinky thoughts and fantasies at present. We all know that humiliation and what people find humiliating is subjective and varies from person to person. Also, what some people may find humiliating in a hot way others might find abhorrent, which could be a result of many things, such as an incident in the past. It is by far the most complex issue of my (anyones?) kink as it is fundamentally psychological and as such brings cerebral complications with it.
But what makes something humiliating? How much is this associated to social conditioning? Because humiliation is such a broad topic and I cannot have possibly have experienced all that is possible I shall discuss a few points and see where we get.
Exposure of flesh: Being stripped naked in private or public can be thought of and many people find the act of doing so humiliating. Why? Nakedness is natural isn't it? I often walk around my flat naked and have done so in the past without blinds! Social conditioning has taught us not to expose ourselves in public, and so what is actually quite natural can become a psychological trigger of a humiliation act. For example, in front of another, to whom I have relinquished control I can feel quite exposed and humiliated?when naked, particularly if that person is clothed. This feeling is exacerbated with an audience, particularly one of my peers. However, exposure of particular areas, such as my breast, genitals and bottom with my clothing still on, just re-arranged is actually more humiliating. I suppose this is because these areas are those we are taught we should not expose, particularly in public and the presence of clothing surrounding these exposed area only highlights that feeling. If there were no thoughts on nakedness or beliefs on what is or is not correct with respect to exposing human flesh then maybe these feelings of humiliation would not be there.
Public humiliation: I suppose this is any act that causes embarrassment to the victim with the presence of an audience. Is this more humiliating than having no audience? I think so. We all care about what people think of us and so an audience can really heighten the effect of the act. I also believe that if the audience is known to the victim then the feelings of humiliation are even more heightened. Why is this? I believe we like to think we have the respect of our peers and secretly worry that by performing certain acts in front of them then we may lose that respect? Why do we think any respect may be lost at all and why do we worry? I suppose because secretly we think we should be doing these sorts of thing, still less enjoying them and the opinions of others does matter whether we like it or not. But has anyone thought that in our world you may GAIN the respect of your peers by doing such things in public? I have done in the past and it has really helped me enjoy the scene, rather than worrying about what they may or may not think of me.
Sexual acts: There are many of these that could fall under this banner but I guess anal sex is quite a common one and is one I have experienced (gasping with shock anyone?). I have often heard anal sex described as degrading and humiliating. I know I think of it in that way, in fact that is one of the many reasons I enjoy it; it is the psychology of the act that is a real trigger for me. I think if it in such a manner because I have been brought up to think it is wrong and unnatural (and I am sure I am not alone in this). I have been conditioned.
Positions for punishment: There are so many positions we subs can be made to adopt to have punishment administered to us. For me (again, I am sure I am not alone here) those positions that expose me, such as bent over with my legs apart I find humiliating. I guess that harks back to the fact I have been told I should not expose certain parts of my body to people (other than when it is necessary or of course when with my partner). I also find positions where my bottoms is raised with respect to my body (I recently did a scene with HH where I was laid flat with a cushion under my bottom that was large enough to really raise my bottom in the air. Why was this humiliating to me after all these years of playing at CP scenes? I believe it is because I have never had my bottom so highlighted before. It made me feel that my bottom was being objectified, something I had not experienced in a CP scene before. Why is objectification humiliating though? This one I truly cannot work out!
Folks, if you have made it though this larger than usual post and have some thoughts on this then please do comment. It is a broad subject and you will probably have very different views from me. I just want to try and understand this subject a little. It really does interest me.
