Hello folks! I thought I would share something a bit different with you this time, something more about the scene psychology and my approach to it. Why? Well, I made some new discoveries about myself yesterday and felt I should share them. Here goes...
After 24 years on the scene, I could be forgiven for thinking that I had discovered all that there is to discover about our wonderful scene world. However, this is far from true! I did a double session yesterday with a lovely gent and the (in)famous Miss Iceni.
The scene in itself was quite simple; an institutional scenario that I love so much! I was at a reformatory institute for badly behaved ladies and had been summoned to see the Head Mistress for a dose of her leather strap. If I managed to take all 18 strokes then I would earn one month off my sentence. At this point we have everything running perfectly to a script that is quite familiar, except for one thing; I am stripped naked and sent out of the room to await my sentence for more than 10 minutes. Of course I was aware of this aspect to the scene before we played it out, what I did not realise was how much the wait outside would affect me. The minutes ticked by and my nerves built until I had a stomach like a washing machine by the time Miss Iceni called me in. This made the first six strokes almost unbearable, even though they were so well spaced out. What made matters worse, the more I struggled, the more my antagonists in the room with me seemed to enjoy it! I had no idea that being made to wait would affect me so strongly - it really was rather hot!
Of course I managed to get through each stroke from Miss Iceni’s tawse (including the extras I earned for answering back) and the scene ended. With a cup of tea in hand (how British!) we three of us sat to discuss the scene. Part of the discussion was my response to such an intimidating situation. Some ladies really show their fear on their faces, whereas I cover my fear up with bluff and bluster, often answering back. What I had never really thought about until today was why I did this! Well, our discussion today covered my years at boarding school and I suppose the penny finally dropped for me today as to why I respond the way I do when the fear takes over.
Boarding school could be quite an intimidating place - less Enid Blyton and more Survivor if you must know, and you didn’t dare show fear at boarding school, you showed bravado! Those who showed fear were made to suffer. Clearly this is where my response to the ‘darker’ scenes come from. It is a response learned from quite a young age!
So why am I telling you all this? Well, it seems that even after 24 years there is still something we can learn about ourselves on this scene, and why I still love being part of its rich tapestry. I have always said that the day I stop learning and discovering will be the day I hand in my scene notice! Clearly that is not due any time soon!
I love the dynamics of a double session, especially when you have such a good role player in Miss Iceni. You may find out more about Miss Iceni here:
www.missiceni.com
And more about me, my double sessions and who I offer them with here:
www.leiaannwoods.com
I hope you enjoyed this read; I felt it was definitely worth a share!
