Monday, 13 October 2008

On my mind...

This message may not really go here but I really feel it needs saying. The last few months have seen some turbulent events on the scene and I was pleased to see how much we all came together over it all. However since then further events have been occurring that have upset me beyond belief. I have long held the scene as a place that is dear to my heart but the last couple of months have allowed me to question that choice. Now more than ever we must stick together, not fight amongst ourselves and stab each other in the back because we have not got our own way or because someone has upset us. This cannot go on. How on earth are we to represent ourselves well to the rest of the world, should they ever be exposed to us, when we are squabbling amongst ourselves and allowing more and more "scene politics" to rule our scene. Please let us bring it back to how it was; a place to play, make friends and have fun.



There is no way for most of us to know, what events have lead to this post and I for one am not going to dig at you for details but I have to agree that getting at each other is not going to achieve anything and there are enough outsiders who are ready to have a go at us all and that makes sticking together essential.

I do not really regard myself as a "scene" player, I feel far more comfortable with terms like "amateur" and "fringe". But even here on the "out in the sticks" area of the kink I have recently experienced certain parties coming to metaphorical blows over an issue that, from personal experience, I know to be founded on a false accusation. I even had to delete some posts from my archives because the aggressive party was using them in a bad way.

Blue on blue fire is not the way to go. Over the coming years, as more and more people start looking into our world from the outside, due to the ever spreading influence of the internet, it will be inevitable that some of these people will try to make profit at our expense. The ability to cooperate, coordinate, unite and show a solid front is no longer just desirable, it will become more and more essential.


idlethoughts said...

Hi, i'm not in a position to know the detail either of what has led you to blog as you have, but i couldn't agree more with you. I was impressed with the little i knew, about the solidarity i saw over the nofw affair.
My experience it is fun and i've always been impressed with the respect everyone i met paid to each other. So i endorse Leia's plea for that sense of fun and trust to return.

ADC said...

Well, Leia, that was mysterious. Are you referring to the (apparently) sudden rush of outings to the press, or was it something more personal?

In any family there are bound to be tensions and festering hatreds. I'd imagine that the public events to which you allude have led to a heightened sense of fear, even paranoia, a jumpiness and falling away of trust that could easily manifest itself in tensions, bitchiness, even backstabbing. One might begin speculating whether such and such a friend has spoken to a journalist, for example; and even if there's no truth in the suspicion a seed of doubt is sown with the result that one doesn't treat that person in quite the same way; they pick up on it, and before you know what's happened they really are speaking to a journalist. An imaginary example, needless to say.

As you will know, there are real consequences when one's private other life becomes public knowledge. Suddenly what you do in the scene might not stay in the scene. That thought's always at the back of your mind. So it becomes difficult to get back to the atomosphere of fun and trust, of complete relaxation. The thought of betrayal will always be there.

Sad, but I fear inevitable.

Paul H said...

I am not actually a 'scene player' either, though with me it is not for want of desire to do so. I would love to, and often feel deeply jealous of guys that get to have spanking sessions with girls like Leia for real (as I have told her in emails in the past on several occasions).

I suppose what puts me off realising my fantasy more than anything is the fear of being outed, with all the awful repercussions that would entail for someone not lucky enough or courageous enough (or both) to be able to live an open cp enthusiast life like Leia. For some of us it could potentially even involve losing jobs and careers as well.

Perhaps one day, like gay people before us, cp orientated people will organise and fight for the right to be openly what we are without condemnation, ridicule and shame. I felt very much this way when the Max Mosely poison came out in the News of the World. Perhaps we are going to have to go through more of these moments before a societal consciousness of anger starts to form with some sense of comradeship, in the way it did for gays with the likes of stonewall.

In the mean time I would like to say to Leia: I'll probably only ever get to fantasise about spanking you or even meeting you, but I think you're a gem. I would love to simply have a conversation with you, let alone spank you. I have never met a submissive woman in the flesh, and I am in my forties! It's a shame our society isn't in a place yet where cp people are respected and accepted. But at least those of the community like yourself, who have the courage to live an 'out' life get to enjoy that life more than those of us who have to live a repressed life - even (as in my case) from their own spouses. Even if you have some pain occasionally along the way as a result of your courage Leia, you also get pleasures some of us only get to dream of :)

Ms Slide said...

I agree entirely. Recently, more than ever, I've had personal experience of how misunderstood and persecuted we can be by an outside world that just doesn't *get* it. Without solidarity, people within the scene are struggling on their own against a press and public baying for blood. Whatever is happening with you, I hope it gets better.


Ms S xxx


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