Thursday, 15 April 2010

A rant...

I have been (rather foolishly) reading some forums on a break from doing some internet research and what i read riled me beyond belief.  The discussion was on who is the best sub in London, which, before I even start on the real issue is a pointless argument as it is subjective!

Once more the contributors fell into the trap of the "True submissive" and possibly the "True Dominant" (I think the posters may not have read the highly informative Screw the roses, bring me the thorns).  It was stated that a true submissive could not possibly switch as it would be against her nature.  I have an issue with this point as shown below:

1.  What if the submissive is ORDERED by a Dominant to administer punishment upon another or themselves?  if they refuse based on it being against their nature is that not being disobedient?

2.  I enjoy Domination, but do not get the sexual kick out of it that I do when I submit, both in private and with the guys who really enjoy the dark scenarios I do.  Therefore am I no longer truly submissive because I enjoy Domination on an intellectual level?  My partner would argue that I am all submissive believe me...

3.  Do we really have to box people in, put labels on them?  Why is there such a need to do this?  Does it make you feel safer to allot a label not only to yourself but to others as well?

4.  Since when was being the best submissive about how many strokes of an implement he/she can take and how hard?  No one mentioned the psychological side to any depth, which is so important and a huge part of submission and domination and the exchange between the two.

There is no such thing as a "true submissive" as submission means different things to different submissives and the Dominants they interact with.  "True Master's" I have met in the past and have found them up their rear end at best and dangerous at worst.

Rant over so anyone who has any opinions please share!


Nimue said...

Well, I just had to comment on this and hopefully this isn't going to turn into a rant of my own!!
There's no such thing as the "best" sub, arguing over who is the best would be the same as arguing over the best colour - everyone has their own personal tastes and what one person loves another may hate. For some, their "best" sort of sub is the loud, bratty type, for others it may be the quietly obedient type.
Enjoying being on both ends of the cane doesn't make you any less of either thing. I know a few masochistic Dominants who order their sadistic submissives to hurt them - as you say, if the submissive refuses, they are disobeying a direct order from their dominant, that's hardly very submissive is it? So either they give their Dominant the caning they've been order to - in which case they're not submisive, or they refuse to carry out an order, in which case they're not submissive!!
At the end of the day, who are we to argue with how people define themselves. Even a switch can be 100% submissive to one person, and at the same, entirely Dominant to another.

Anonymous said...

Great post Leia

Agree it's all subjective. One man's racehorse is another man's donkey!

I find that people who create these threads are often three eyed trolls who never get out from behind their computer which is usually under a rock.

And if they don't fall into that category then they are usually pompous self obsessed types who think that their knowledge of CP and BDSM is the best and that everyone should fall into categories that they believe to be true.

Lets not forget half of these people who contribute have never even met us yet they seem to know or want to know everything about us.

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Nimue - great comment. I am very with you. Subjectivity IS the most important thing with this argument, which is as you say extremely pointless! xx

Cassie - Indeed, you are right about internet trolls. Just got annoyed as I hate the insistence of pigeon-holing people. ARRRGGGGHHH!!!xx

Watford World said...

Leia-Ann, three cheers for you and for your thought provoking blog.

I never understood the condescension there is towards those of us that switch. It smacks of elitism and is one step away from an attitude that has no place in a modern day liberal society, let alone within a minority such as ours that has enough trouble being understood without introducing divisive factions.

I have noticed a similar attitude towards bi-sexuals, in so much as you cannot possibly be truly gay if you have a penchant for both men and women (and anything in between). For heavens sake, surely we should have learnt by now that someone's race/sex/sexuality/creed etc is their own business (subject to the usual provisos of know one else being harmed). It's what makes for a colourful, diverse and stimulating society.

I deplore the need to categorise and compartmentalise people and attempting to quantify one human being over another is ill-conceived and distasteful. Let us relish and celebrate our differences.

Thank you for raising this important issue.


Leia-Ann Woods said...

Jasper - thank you for a fine comment. I have never understood the need to compartmentalize either. I guess it is just easier to do so, rather than allow a continuum of incremental differences along a spectrum of the human race.

Brett said...

To me there are lots of individual people, and each has their own unique appeal (or maybe in some cases, lack of appeal.) "Best sub" or "true sub" is meaningless, unless one just has a very particular fetish and is looking for someone to match their exact desires. Then it's only meaningful to them, and should be declared as such.

Though I don't know you personally, Leia-Ann, as a fan, all I can say is that, who you are is truly exciting. You fit no mold, and who would want to? No label can begin to do you justice. I really enjoy you as a sub in scenes, and what I know about your connection to the roles. I haven't seen your dom scenes yet, but I love the idea of them. For me, that you enjoy being dominant only enhances your appeal.

dublin.paolo said...

"do we really have to box people in..." you ask Leia, and my answer to that is simple....only if they enjoy being ordered inside a box ;)

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Brett - Thank you. both for your complimentary comments and for your insightful post.

Paolo - very funny :-)

alannorth said...

Never have I seen such a though provoking post provoke so much sensible comment. Bret B's comment sums so much up when he describes you.
You are a one off, Leia, but no human fits the same box as any other that's what makes us human Dom sub switch or vanilla

Leia-Ann Woods said...

Alan - thank you!


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