Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Reaching the summit

Hello folks.  How many of you have had an ultimate fantasy that you have wanted to play out for years?  I had one I had wanted to do for 5 years and had been in my mind for as long as I can remember.  I recently played that fantasy out for real.  I won't give you the details as it was a private play session and that is not really what this post is about.  What I want to discuss is how you feel when you play out your ultimate fantasy.

On the day I felt a mixture of nerves and excitement beforehand, combined with a moment of 'what the hell am I doing', just before everything kicked off.  Afterwards my endorphins went off the scale on a level where the only other scene that compared was the 100 strokes of the willow I received last November.  The next day I felt good right up until lunch time, where at home alone I began to mull over what had happened the day before.  I was happy with what I had done, don't get me wrong, more than happy and I truly appreciate those who arranged it for me and turned up to make my fantasy real.  But I had this devil on my shoulder asking me 'what are you going to do now?  you have done your ultimate kinky fantasy so nothing else you do will match up to it.  What is there left for you on the scene?'  This doubt continued with me for a good few days, probably as a result of the dreaded 'sub crash' we all get when we do such high-end scenes.  I had to really dig in this time and think about what was around me on the scene and whether I still had things I wanted to discover in it.  I do, and I knew that with time and rational thought I would come up with the answer 'yes of course.  This is my life and I am made this way.  I will never want to leave the scene totally'.

I guess you roll the dice with such scenes.  On the one hand you live to play these fantasies out but on the other once you have, what next?  I am lucky to have a great active scene life both as Leia and in private so before long I was able to rationalize what I wanted to experience in the future.  I may have played out my ultimate fantasy but that does not mean that others I still have in my mind to fulfill will be any less, in fact who is to say that something I do in the future may not blow my mind even more?  I guess what I am getting at here is when you play with psychological play you have to bear in mind how far you raise the bar.  If you raise it too high you may never be able reach that ultimate feeling again, which may result in you 'chasing the dragon', never again finding that high you once gained from such scenes.  I think if you keep an open mind even playing out your ultimate fantasy can still leave things alive for many more great scenes.  You never know, those future scenes may even exceed your ultimate fantasy anyway!

For those who organised this that day:  I thank you so much, I cannot find how to show my full appreciation.  For those that came and helped make my fantasy reality:  You are epic friends.  The best ever.


Richey said...

There, just what I meant when I commented a couple of blogs ago! It's really interesting to hear how fantasies can take on a life of their own. I wonder how often they stay in their allotted place, and how often they impinge on real life?

Again though, thanks for an interesting post!


LOL dont worry I am sure your twisted ( and i say that in a nice way) mind
will come up with another fantasy

spanksalot said...

I am lucky enough to play out my fantasies most of the time, even my most outrageous one came true, though sadly for some one else, (It was spanking Keira Knightly of course!) The truth of it is for me that how over much I love my props and roleplay, (and I do!) for me they are just forplay, in the end it comes down to me, the girl and some implements. Even if she is strictly an ass only girl I love to watch her whole body and mind and how she deals with it, enjoying and suffering simultaneously. Oh to feel a woman's genitals pulse as she is over your knee, watch her wince, her mucsles flex under the rod. To hear her gasp or moan or cry. See a tear stained eye but detect a smile. Watch her stand in the corner, arms aloft, not knowing if it is over, not knowing herself if she wants it to be. A good scene or session should be like a good novel, have an arc, a begining a middle and a real climax. I always struggle with the epilogue though as I am not great with sub drop, I always think, we had a great time right? what's wrong? Though I do my I shall watch that film with a heavy heart, but the next time I have a cane in my hand a bare bottom bent over infront of me, I won't care that it's not the aformentioned actress, or that the poor 'unfortunate' was a schoolgirl when I spanked her 10 minutes ago, or a maid or any of the plethora of common subjects. I will take another deep breath, and enjoy her final punishment, taking my time to get her somewhere near her limit, and leaving her there for as long as I can manage. So I know it's probably not the done thing to ask a q of my own, but, is it not enough to get a well smacked ass?


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